Thread: GOP's illegal immigrant comes from another world

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Joel McNally: GOP's illegal immigrant comes from another world
By Joel McNally
Illegal aliens gonna get your mama.

Certainly, a widespread invasion of purple people with tentacles growing out of them like the slimy creature that popped out of that guy's chest in the movie "Alien" would be a serious concern that should be addressed in the upcoming elections.

Talk about your threats to homeland security.

But it turns out the illegal aliens that Republican politicians are trying to get us all excited about aren't inter-planetary life forms that feast upon our internal organs. They are merely brown people who have come here to wash our dishes.

What a comedown. It can be a challenge to try to whip folks into a terrified frenzy over immigration from Mexico in a state that is nearly 2,000 miles from the border.

It's a piece of cake for politicians in states bordering Mexico to spread anti-immigrant bigotry. But ours is almost on the edge of Canada, where the greater threat is from hordes of illegal immigrants wearing ugly flannel shirts and hats with ear flaps.

That hasn't stopped determined Wisconsin politicians from jumping right in.

Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner, chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, has become a Spanish curse word for his vicious anti-immigrant legislation, which could imprison nearly 12 million immigrants and anyone else kind enough to serve them food at a soup kitchen.

Waukesha District Attorney Paul Bucher, running for the Republican nomination for attorney general, now wants to out-Sensenbrenner Sensenbrenner.

He brags on his Web site that he would become the first attorney general in the United States to seek authority from the federal government to track down illegal immigrants.

"I would use this authority to micro-target those illegal immigrants in this state who are violent criminals and felons cocaine dealers, gang bangers, murderers, child molesters and the like," Bucher blusters.

That sounds like a really tough, aggressive stand until you think about it. Bucher has built a career on making proposals that sound tough and aggressive until you think about them. He counts on appealing to voters who don't think.

The first thing you realize when you bother to think about what Bucher says is that there already are laws in this state against murder, child molestation, cocaine dealing and "gang banging," if that means what I think it means.

Police departments all over this state are arresting people who commit those crimes whether they are illegal immigrants or not. They don't need the attorney general to remind them to do that.

So how exactly is Bucher going to "micro-target" the tiny number of illegal immigrants who might get accused of murder in this state?

Will some alarm go off in Bucher's office whenever an undocumented Latino is accused of shooting somebody so he and a band of state agents can rush to the scene and shove local police out of the way?

Someone should tell Bucher that the state attorney general does not command an army. He keeps talking about putting "boots on the ground" to assist the federal government in arresting all those dastardly illegal immigrants.

It sounds as if employees of the attorney general's office under Bucher would be wearing storm trooper uniforms, complete with boots and sabers. Since their real duties involve providing legal advice to the state and filing environmental and consumer protection lawsuits, most of the current employees wear smart business suits.

Currently, only about 5 percent of more than 22,000 inmates in the Wisconsin prison system are illegal immigrants. We clearly are not being overrun by murdering, child-molesting illegal immigrants.

So, why exactly should the attorney general in Wisconsin, of all places, be the only attorney general in the United States authorized to track down illegal immigrants and perhaps march them through the streets in chains?

Attorney General Peg Lautenschlager put her finger on the obvious when she described the real motivation for Bucher and other Republicans around the country to try to play on the emotions of the public over immigration.

"It's creating a race war," Lautenschlager said. "It's just that simple. It's being done in an attempt to gain electoral advantage, and it's certainly not enhancing the country."

Bucher's response, like that of the corrupt police captain in "Casablanca," was to profess to be shocked, shocked that anyone would accuse him of race-baiting when he tries to insert the Wisconsin attorney general's office into immigration issues that are raging along the Mexican border.

"Does she even know the race of the 1,100 inmates identified by the state as being illegal aliens in our prisons?" Bucher asked. "I don't, and I couldn't care less."

That's an absolutely incredible statement. Bucher tries to stir up racial hatred against illegal immigrants by referring to them as murderers, child molesters and gang bangers. Then he claims he has no idea that the people he's talking about are Latinos.

Maybe we've identified the wrong side as the aliens.

Joel McNally of Milwaukee writes a weekly column for The Capital Times. E-mail: jmcnally@wi.rr.com

He counts on appealing to voters who don't think.

In other words anyone who upholds our laws and wants freedom from oppression does not think!
I'm sure we are all racists in his little mind, haters and bigots too.

Illegal aliens gonna get your mama.

This bird-brain attempts to mock.

IndianaJones.

One set of rule for citizens and LEGAL immigrants, and one for illegals.