Thread: NY: Immig wives in peril

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/story/4 ... 3138c.html

Immig wives in peril
Abuse follows them to U.S.
BY HEIDI EVANS
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Marisol Tenesaca is kept from her children, who live in Ecuador where their dad threatens them unless she sends him all her wages.
One immigrant wife would be beaten if she tried to answer the phone or go out to buy milk for her child in her Queens neighborhood.

The reason: Her South Asian husband told her she couldn't be trusted with a dollar bill.

Another young woman, now living in Staten Island, was severely abused by two husbands - each arranged marriages from her native Pakistan. When she told her family she and her young son were being physically and psychologically tortured, they turned on her. "Why did you go to the police? .... You have to stay .... Just keep your son locked in his room," she was told.

They are the new faces of domestic violence in New York City, in what advocates say is an alarming and growing phenomenon among immigrant women.

They are caught between two worlds: one in America, where women have equal rights and domestic violence is a crime, and the other in their native lands, where cultural, religious and family traditions demand that women and girls be subservient, accept violence by their husbands, abuse by their in-laws, forced marriage and in some countries, genital mutilation.

When they arrive in New York City, they are often kept isolated indoors by their husbands. Some don't speak English. They are unfamiliar with American and New York law, afraid of being deported if they call police for help. If they disobey their violent and controlling husbands in any way, the men threaten to call immigration.

The lucky ones find their way to Sanctuary for Families, a not-for-profit advocacy group which provides safe shelter, immigration lawyers and counseling to 7,000 battered women and their young children.

Sanctuary is sponsoring a public forum moderated by Dan Rather tomorrow at the Asia Society, to highlight the challenges these women face when they seek to escape their abusers and build new lives.

The numbers are troubling.

In the past five years, the organization reports a rise in its immigrant clients - up to 62% from 49% of their overall adult population. They come from more than 100 different countries, and speak more than 120 different languages and dialects.

Moreover, a 2004 New York City Health Department report found that although 36% of city residents are foreign-born, immigrant women were significantly more likely to be killed by their intimate partners than U.S.-born women.

"Embedded in New York's immigrant struggle and success stories are a lot of hidden women and children who are victims of domestic violence," said Beth Silverman-Yam, clinical director at Sanctuary for Families. "We need to raise the level of awareness."

Hawa is one of the city's hidden immigant victims.

She came to the Bronx from Guinea, a reluctant bride who suffered for years at the brutal hands of an older man who sent for her.

"He worked nights driving a taxi and when he came home in the morning he would force me to stay in bed to have sex. I didn't want to. I wanted to get up for the children. If I don't agree he will hit me. It was, oh, God ...." her voice trailing off at the dark memory.

Hawa finally found the courage to get a court order of protection in 2003. Now safe in a modest two-bedroom apartment at an undisclosed location, her 5- and 7-year-old sons are happily unaware of the brave and difficult escape their mother made.

They go to public school, and live in the warm embrace of their mother, who works part-time as a home health aide and is going to school. Hawa said they sometimes ask when they can see their father.

"I tell them, 'Not yet. Not yet.'"

I guess being isolated they don't know that if they go to the authorities that they can get a temporary green card that is good for 2 years and during that time they can apply for residency. This applies to all types of abused women. They need to somehow get educated about this. Many illegal Hispanics in South Florida know about this and take advantage of it. They even have restraining orders against their exhusbands.

A temporary green card? I'd for sure rather have them than their husbands, who bring their attittudes towards women with them. Shopping in our old neighborhood became positively unpleasant for my well-endowed daughter.

While I against ANY domestic violence, sounds like letting abused illegal alien women apply for green cards and then residency is, here again, rewarding those in this country illegally.

We have thousands of AMERICANS who are abused daily by spouses/boyfriends. They should be our first priority. We cannot take of the whole world.

A better option would be to give them transportation back to their home countries.

had_enuf wrote:

A better option would be to give them transportation back to their home countries.

Amen to sending ALL illegal immigrants back to their homeland!

I said, "I'd rather" not "I want" - the whole kit and kaboodle is really too much for us to handle. We are not the therapists/doctors/babysitters/job fair for the entire world.

Like some Indian guy on an online magazine commentary a while back, begging us to share 'a drop of water' (he meant white collar jobs). No one instance seems like a big deal, but enough in the aggregate and we notice the hurt. And they either cannot or will not return the favor.

BetsyRoss I feel sorry for your daughter. I can't stand shopping with them either as they don't speak English, block aisles and give others who speak any other language besides Spanish or English dirty looks. I went to Ross last week and won't go back as there is virtually no English spoken there and this is the store that is not in Miami. There were French Canadians in there speaking French among each other (it is their native language in the province of Quebec) and the Hispanics were rude towards them and the man made a comment in French about them and I broke out laughing and joined their conversation as I know how to speak French. These people come down for the winter and have noticed the same problems we see.

The more you give them the more they expect. Last may in their speaches at their march, I believe they made the statement they were sick of getting our crumbs, does this sound like prople that are grateful for all Americans have done for all immigrants legal and illegal, come on our tax dolllars, our jobs, our towns our schools, taking care of their criminals, welfare, food stamps so on and so on, shortly there will be nothing left to give. Well, it will be interesting to see if they are willing to take such good care of us when we have handed over everything we have to them.

swatchick wrote:

BetsyRoss I feel sorry for your daughter. I can't stand shopping with them either as they don't speak English, block aisles and give others who speak any other language besides Spanish or English dirty looks.

That's not even the half of it. I have a daughter that, after two years of Spanish, understands the language fairly well. She has often told me of how uncomfortable she feels when shopping around young Hispanic men. They often fail to realize that some folks not of Spanish descent do comprehend the language. Since this is not an XXX-rated site, I can't divulge the filthy things she has heard them say to, and about, her and other women they were eyeballing while shopping. My daughter and I assume most, if not all, of these folks are illegal immigrants.

IMHO, a lot of illegal immigrant Latino's are damaging the reputations of million of upstanding Hispanic-Americans. If I was them, I'd be more than a little pissed at this and would be anxious to push for the deportation of illegal immigrants. Of course groups like LULAC, La Raza, etc. fail to see and comprehend the harm illegals are doing not only to their country, but also their reputation as good Americans.

SOSADFORUS wrote:

Well, it will be interesting to see if they are willing to take such good care of us when we have handed over everything we have to them

.

Now that is a scary thought to ponder!