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  1. #1
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    Panic: Los Angeles Population Plummets 14% in 3 Days

    5/12/2005
    by Mac Johnson
    Human Events Online
    Topics: Billboard Gate, President, Los Angeles, Mexico, Laws, Campaigns, Border, Security, Illegal Aliens
    Los Angeles -- A controversial billboard campaign in Los Angeles continued to make headlines this week as anger rapidly turned to confusion and hysteria.

    Read the latest headlines about illegal immigration.

    The billboard, advertising a Spanish Language television station, originally made news by enraging many Americans with its aggressive Mexican Nationalist message --declaring that Los Angeles was no longer part of the United States, but was instead a Mexican city once again.

    Below the banner message in which “Los Angeles, CA� had been crossed out and changed in blaring red type to read “Los Angeles, MEXICO,� the billboard pronounced in Spanish “Your City. Your Team.�

    Now Gringo anger is the least of the problems caused by the Billboard, as the apparently quite believable reconquista it announces sends shockwaves through the city’s residents, Anglo and Latino alike. In a scene reminiscent of war-torn Europe 60 years ago, the roads leading north out of Los Angeles are choked with thousands of Mexican refugees stoically carrying their meager possessions with them.

    When I asked what had precipitated this mass exodus, one migrant, whom we’ll call Jose “X,� simply turned, pointed to the Billboard looming over his neighborhood and said, “¡Oh Man! I stopped walking too soon!� --then bravely continued on with the others.

    I asked a second man why he was fleeing Los Angeles, Mexico. “I did a lotta bad things back in Mexico, I’m afraid of police there,� he said matter-of-factly, then added “In America, police must give me Latte, so I walk to America. Again. ¡Norte!�

    When questioned about the efflux of migrants blackening all roads leading out of Los Angeles, Immigration and Customs Enforcement Director Hugh Dick responded “What Mexicans? I don’t see any Mexicans.�

    The Mexican government has seen the problem though and quickly dispatched officials to the scene to aid the population in re-escaping to America. “This is a tragedy,� said Luis de Silva de Gonzales y Ramon de Dinero debajo de Mesa. He added “These people thought they were safe and prosperous, now they’re just in Mexico. Again. ¡Norte!�

    The reconquista panic has taken myriad forms. Los Angeles wholesalers were said to be totally out of Chiclets brand gum, as terrified Los Angelinos, believing they were in Mexico, immediately sent their children into the streets to sell gum to tourists. A dazed passer-by, Richard Martinez, commented, “I had a good paying job, Man. Now this happens. Heck, I don’t even know how to speak Spanish except a little to my Grandmother. How am I supposed to make a living asking for hugs and cookies? I’m an American for Chrissake! Quit lumping me in with all these illegals --I DON’T WANT ANY GUM, OK? VAMOOS, YOU LITTLE URCHINS!-- Screw it. I’m moving to Canada.�

    Immigrant civil rights and advocacy groups were incensed. “How many will die on the long trek north now?� asked advocate and socialite Catherine van den Hempel-Jones. “Moving the border means migrants have to walk all the way to Sacramento to find a better life now, surviving along the way only on convenience store rations and In-N-Out Burgers. When will this madness end? We demand –and will soon appeal to the United Nations to require-- that a high-speed commuter rail be built out of Los Angeles immediately, preferably one fueled by bio-diesel and catered in a culturally sensitive manner.� Ms. van den Hempel-Jones then turned and addressed one of the Northbound migrants: “Excusa me, camarada. Do you need cold AGUA?� Apparently mad from the heat, the poor Mexican migrant responded sharply and in remarkably good English “Get away from me, you freak! God, I can’t wait to get to Canada.�

    Asked for a comment on the fulminant crisis, President Bush –after a three-hour closed door meeting with top advisors- made a brief statement in both English and Spanish, saying he fully supported both the migrants and those who opposed them, as well as Los Angeles being free to “discover� which country it felt most comfortable in. He then ended with a prayer calling for understanding and tolerance for “all God’s voters.� Asked by reporters about potential Homeland Security implications, President Bush responded that he was “112% dedicated to securing the border, just as soon as it could be found.�

    President Vicente Fox of Mexico subsequently released a statement condemning Bush’s total support for illegal aliens as “lukewarm� and demanding that Bush immediately deploy the Marines to Los Angeles to “restore Mexico’s moneymaker, dammit.� Adding, “¿Do you think these people can sell enough gum to wire home a billion dollars a month? ¡Take back L.A. now!�

    Democrats immediately condemned President Bush’s bilingual statement as insensitive; then issued a counter-statement demanding that Los Angeles residents still be allowed to vote in the US by absentee ballot, and offering Mexico all California south of the Central Valley as an apology for “the crimes of the 1840’s�.

    “¡NOOOOOOOOO! ¡GOD, NO!� commented President Fox.

    Anti-American liberal whites in Los Angeles briefly poured into the streets to celebrate L.A.’s “liberation� from United States “hegemony�, but they were quickly dispersed with massive force from the Federale LAPD. Commented one smiling officer as he repeatedly swung his baton onto a crying trustafarian, “Where’s your First Amendment NOW, pinko?� The officer then asked us to pay a $100 cash fee for a “reporting license.� “After this, I’m gonna start me a drug gang!� he told a grinning friend standing nearby, on the thin neck of a “Peace Activist�.

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  2. #2

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    it was just a billboard; a marketing ploy, if you will. it should have just been dismissed, unfortunately, it brought out the worst in who i thought were our friends and brothers.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VirtualChicano
    it was just a billboard; a marketing ploy, if you will. it should have just been dismissed, unfortunately, it brought out the worst in who i thought were our friends and brothers.
    Who did you think were friends and brothers? Brought out the worst in who?
    FAR BEYOND DRIVEN

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sixx
    Quote Originally Posted by VirtualChicano
    it was just a billboard; a marketing ploy, if you will. it should have just been dismissed, unfortunately, it brought out the worst in who i thought were our friends and brothers.
    Who did you think were friends and brothers? Brought out the worst in who?
    Yes, I would also like a little clarification on that statement.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charlesoakisland
    Quote Originally Posted by Sixx
    Quote Originally Posted by VirtualChicano
    it was just a billboard; a marketing ploy, if you will. it should have just been dismissed, unfortunately, it brought out the worst in who i thought were our friends and brothers.
    Who did you think were friends and brothers? Brought out the worst in who?
    Yes, I would also like a little clarification on that statement.
    As would I. I have NO friends who believe in the Aztlan farie tale, ALL are enemies in my eyes, and should be treated as such. Since that is where you claim you are from, I am sure you can read the writing on the walls.

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    This article is a scream! What a cutting piece of satire. The authors nails it but good.

    By the way, I would like to know who our friends are too, as if I didn't. Where are you coming from Virtual?
    When we gonna wake up?

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    Maybe VirtualChicano will some day soon come back and enlighten us on this mystery.
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    Yes, indeed. VirtualChicano we had Latino's and even self proclaimed liberal social workers here on the boards that were angry about those signs.

    W
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  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by ALIPAC
    Yes, indeed. VirtualChicano we had Latino's and even self proclaimed liberal social workers here on the boards that were angry about those signs.

    W
    i am here out of respect for the webmaster.

    about my comment, i simply meant that i grew up with white guys. but i do not beleive this anti-Mexicanism is truely indicative of the majority of white males. although, i was referring to the ugliness of some of the comments and how the immigration issue is now used as a tool of the anti-Mexican individual.

    VirtualChicano we had Latino's and even self proclaimed liberal social workers
    yes, of course, i am not Latino, however, nor as liberal as you might think. frankly, i am a pragmatist, if anything.

    i hope i cleared things up.

    VC

  10. #10

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    VC, if it were not for the attitude of a great many Mexicans, including their leaders, that they are owed free access to this country at will and that we have no right to even say anything about it, I don't think you would be seeing anti-Mexicanism to this degree.

    The sheer presumption of anyone to allude that LA is part of Mexico, is an affront to the sovereignty of this country. We know what they mean, the Aztlan crowd have dreams of reclaiming the border states. The Mexican government pretends to be the friend of the U.S., but how often do they support us or do anything for us except take our money and our jobs (i.e. Nafta).

    Mexico is the equivalent of the ne'r do well relative who sponges off a hard-working and successful kinsman. They have failed to build a prosperous country for their own people and now they want to line up the the public trough of a wealthy America. We owe them nothing. They owe us respect and honor for our sovereignty and for protecting the entire hemisphere and much of the rest of the world.

    We are not talking about the legal, hard working Mexicans who live here, learn to speak the language and contribute like the rest. We have a major problem with the lobby that demands endless concessions and offers nothing in return, but the threat of taking over American territory.

    As a descendent of soldiers who fought for the South in the Civil War, I can tell these wanna-be secessionists, that it ain't gonna happen. You don't break off from the United States of America. They need to get over it and join with a successul society instead of longing to bring a failed one here.
    When we gonna wake up?

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