Back home on the Left Coast

By Charles Dodson
Saturday, July 31, 2010 at 12:02 a.m.

They ask: Why would you want to move back to California? It’s a mess out there!

I say: Well, San Diego is America’s Finest City, says so right here in the Chamber of Commerce brochure, plus KPBS says so, so it must be true. Out here, we’ve got beautiful weather, beautiful beaches and beautiful people. Back East, you’ve got a cold ocean and grumpy people.

They ask: But won’t you miss the seasons? The New England seasons are so ... invigorating. In San Diego it’s always 70 degrees. How boring.

I say: Who in their right mind would miss icy windshields, 20-below mornings and 100 inches of snow? I prefer to bask in weather, not shovel it for six months a year.

Surely you’ll miss spring? Rebirth? Leaves on trees, green grass?

You mean, will I miss rain, mud and black flies? No.

Autumn, beautiful picturesque New England autumn, blazing maples, frost on the pumpkins, football on crisp, cool days. Surely you’ll miss autumn.

Yes, I love the vibrant colors of fall foliage, but that’s it. Fall to me is watching the love of my life, my wife the high school cheerleading coach, sitting in the stands in October, wrapped in a sleeping bag and sipping hot chocolate, and me leaving at halftime because no matter how many layers I’ve donned, it’s too darn cold, and the Concord Crimson Tide football team is way too lame to watch for four quarters. My fond gridiron memories are foggy Friday nights at Santa Barbara High in a light sweatshirt.

But everything costs so much in California!

True enough. Gas, housing, beer, sunblock – all the essentials – cost a lot more. I can deal with it because I’ll make 20 percent more in California. (If I find a job!) But there is one cost item that baffles me – the price of canned salmon, which I love. It’s twice the price here. And it’s the same damn can on the grocery shelf, East or West. It’s Bumble Bee wild-caught pink salmon. It’s canned in Alaska, and sold by a San Diego company. Go figure.

Add taxes to the cost of living. Everything is taxed in California!

True enough, New Hampshire has no sales tax or income tax, but it’s a tax mirage, because New Hampshire has crippling property taxes to pay for schools (oops, a similarity?), and taxes on a whole laundry list of everyday items, from rooms and meals to cigarettes and booze. I don’t smoke, but I figure taxes are a wash.

But what about the congestion? You really can’t get there from here in California, at least in a hurry.

That’s why we have traffic helicopters and GPS units. And if you’ve driven El Camino Real in North County, you know what it feels like to be tailgated at 70 mph. I admit, this is a big adjustment from driving NH Route 106 to work at a leisurely 50 mph.

Politics – they’re a bunch of liberal nut cases in California – legal marijuana, save the seals, leftist politicians and all that.

True, somewhat, I say, but for every Jerry Brown and Dianne Feinstein, there’s a Brian Bilbray and Darrell Issa to balance the beam. Those latter two would feel right at home in Derry, N.H. Pick your passion or your poison, that’s the California motto. Besides, the idea California is really more liberal that New Hampshire I challenge. The Granite State, formerly a rock-ribbed Red State, is now the land of legal same-sex marriages, and a House, Senate and governor’s seat all filled by Democrats.

But your job! You gave up a great-paying, highly respected job. Those cute kids at Pleasant Street School miss their principal. The state is a big economic sinkhole. There are no jobs in California.

It depends on your skills, I say. If you’re a teacher or a construction worker, yes, jobs are hard to come by.

But I believe in possibilities! I can be anything I want in California. There are 1.2 million people with jobs in San Diego County. There’s got to be one for me – the professional me – the me of many hats accumulated during these 40 years of a working life. Surely somebody needs a personable, hardworking, multi-tasking former school administrator, teacher, writer, editor, political campaign organizer, communications specialist, nonprofit staffer, airline worker. (Note: will work for pay. See e-mail address below.)

Despite my inner voices issuing hurricane warnings, the draw of California is too great. In the end, I left New England this month with a fistful of dollars but no job. I drove 3,282 miles southwest, even followed the old Route 66 from St. Louis, the original “Mother Roadâ€