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12-04-2007, 11:28 PM #1
Hillary Threatens Iowa!
Hillary Clinton threatens Iowa with perpetual, Christmas-less winter
The Hillary campaign, livid over recent polls that indicate a tightening of the race between her and Barack Obama, released the following bull:
People of Iowa,
I am a patient woman, but your insolence is trying. I have come to your state, made an effort to listen to your concerns, and you to reward me with this.
Consider yourselves warned: If the results of the election don't correlate with my kindness and benevolence, I will cover your pathetic rural backwater in a frozen desolation the likes of which you couldn't possibly imagine. Your crops will die and your children will freeze. Your lives will be a bleak morass of despair. Enjoy your Christmas, for it may be your last. I await your response on January third.
HRM Hillary Clinton
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