Thread: Lie Clocks ` funny of the day

Lie Clocks

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'

St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.

Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.'

'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?'

'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.'

'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?'

St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.'

'Where's President Obama's clock?' asked the man.

Obama's clock is in Jesus' office.

He's using it as a ceiling fan.

Love it Airborne

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are
out for a little stroll in town one afternoon enjoying the
sunshine. As they walked, they come across a sign:

"Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I am entering!" said Snow White.

After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"

"I won First Place !" said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see another sign:

"Contest for the strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering," says Superman.

After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"

"I won First Place too," answers Superman. "Did you ever have a doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a third sign:

"Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"

Pinocchio quickly enters the contest.

After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.

"What happened?" they asked.






"Who the hell is Nancy Pelosi?" asked Pinocchio.