Thread: Dubya Enforces Rule of Law with Executive Order Uno Pardonad

Satire by John W. Lillpop


With the illegal immigration debate heating up once again, I expect President Bush to jump into the fray by taking more of a leadership role.

In fact, I fully expect that Bush will deliver a nationwide television address on the subject. That address will probably go something like this:

My Fellow Amerimexans:

Americans have always been known as a compassionate, caring people. Newcomers appreciate our hospitable and warm ways, especially when we welcome them with open arms, open hearts, and free health care, education, and food stamps.

At the same time, we are a nation dedicated to the rule of law. Without law and order, no civilized society can hope to survive.

It is America's unwavering commitment to law and order that brings me before you tonight.

As most of you know, there are approximately 30 million aliens in our midst who have who crossed the Mexican border without some of the paperwork that bureaucrats are so fond of.

With very few exceptions, these undocumented people are good hearted, hard working folks who came to America only to pursue the most prized possession on earth: A stake in the American Dream.

Unfortunately, because of rampant vigilantism in people calling themselves Minutemen and others calling themselves conservative Republicans, millions of innocent, undocumented folks have been forced to live in the shadows, afraid to partake fully of all we have to offer.

This tragic injustice must not be allowed to continue.

Accordingly, I have decided to restore law and order to America by pardoning all those here illegally.

Just moments ago, I signed Executive Order "Uno Pardonade," which confers full citizenship on anyone who can prove his or her illegal status and who can also speak Mexican.

With just my signature, this most divisive, gut-wrenching issue has been resolved. Peacefully.

The rule of law is once again an honored tenet of American governance.

By the way, this is NOT amnesty. Please remember that America is a nation that operates under the rule of law. Amnesty has no place in our great nation.

I am fully aware that some of my fellow Americans will be unhappy with my decision, and some will even resist the changes I have outlined.

To those vigilante-like dissidents, I say: Your views do not count. All that matters is what the president wants----and that just happens to be yours truly.

In anticipation of irresponsible behavior by some in response to my act of
compassionate conservatism, I have ordered the Pentagon to begin immediate redeployment of 50,000 brave American men and women from Iraq.

These American heroes will be assigned to the Mexican border, charged with the responsibility to escort and assure safe passage for illegal aliens coming to join us.

This will be called "Operation Help Felipe." Although it is a military operation, I expect these 50,000 American patriots to show professional restraint at all times.

Thus, the use of force is expressly forbidden, except as needed to quash out-of-control Minutemen or, even more dangerous, wild characters like Tom Tancredo or Duncan Hunter.

Finally, as your president, I want to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you in that 29 percent of Americans whom still trust me. I assume that my actions tonight will help restore some stability to my approval ratings.

I am also betting that 30 million emancipated Mexicans will cause a
nice "bump" in those polls.

Thank you for listening.

Good evening, and God Bless Mexico---err, make that God Bless America!

President George W. Bush

I know this is Satire as it is written; but in real life it will be much worse

This man is worse than a soup sandwich and you Americans have been brain washed it seems to believe he is a rock star... whodathunkit

All I know is this man is a disaster and 2008 will be the defining year of this country. If you don't demand impeachment; If you don't demand a jury trial and try to turn this country around you will have no country left and anarchy and chaos will rule this land.

I just cant believe America is this damn stupid to believe all that you see

A satire..........But the BS and lies that they TRY to feed us as well!!

"If you don't demand impeachment; If you don't demand a jury trial and try to turn this country around you will have no country left and anarchy and chaos will rule this land."

Impeachment of Bush is NOT what this country needs at this time. And a sure way to hand the election to the dems would be to pursue it. Boy, could they make hay with it.

As for anarchy, we already have that! "Absence of government; a state of lawlessness due to the absence or inefficiency of the supreme power; political disorder."

With a democrat controlled do-nothing congress, a president who has done nothing about ILLEGALS for 7 years, who has not enforced the laws, with 20-35 million ILLEGAL ALIENS thinking they are running the country, and in fact, are in the process of setting up their own "government" within the U.S., yes. We already have anarchy!

Impeachment and prosecution are exactly what this country needs right now. It would send a message to all the corrupt, no matter whether they are legislators, local elected representatives, or judicial appointees that we have had enough and will no longer stand by idly while they dismantle this country. Impeach Cheny, replace him with an honorable man, then Bush. That way we don't have to deal with Pelosi -- yet. She needs to be run out of town on a rail.

"Impeach Cheny, replace him with an honorable man, then Bush. That way we don't have to deal with Pelosi -- yet. She needs to be run out of town on a rail."

That's not the way it works. Get rid of Bush, you get Cheny. Get rid of
Cheny, you get Pelosi. No way would I sign a petition for impeachment....it would tear this country to pieces at a time there is enough strife.

The only way impeachment will set forth now is by a million man march at DC and other cities. A mad demand for impeachment is needed now, or forever hold your peace.