Thread: The serial bully: sound like anyone you know?

Can we identify any of these traits with any members of our government ?

The serial bully:

is a convincing, practiced liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment

has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act

excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive

uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)

is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance

is possessed of an exceptional verbal facility and will outmaneuver most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict

Is often described as smooth, slippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic

relies on mimicry, repetition and regurgitation to convince others that he or she is both a "normal" human being and a tough dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon

is unusually skilled in being able to anticipate what people want to hear and then saying it plausibly

cannot be trusted or relied upon

fails to fulfill commitments

is emotionally retarded with an arrested level of emotional development; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old

is emotionally immature and emotionally untrustworthy

exhibits unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behavior and bodily functions; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse

in a relationship, is incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy

holds deep prejudices (eg against the opposite gender, people of a different sexual orientation, other cultures and religious beliefs, foreigners, etc - prejudiced people are unvaryingly unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial aspect of their personality secret

is self-opinionated and displays arrogance, audacity, a superior sense of entitlement and sense of invulnerability and untouchability

has a deep-seated contempt of clients in contrast to his or her professed compassion

is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity

displays a compulsive need to criticize whilst simultaneously refusing to value, praise and acknowledge others, their achievements, or their existence

shows a lack of joined-up thinking with conversation that doesn't flow and arguments that don't hold water

flits from topic to topic so that you come away feeling you've never had a proper conversation

refuses to be specific and never gives a straight answer

is evasive and has a Houdini-like ability to escape accountability

undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask

Is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise collate incriminating information about them

is quick to discredit and neutralize anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopath behaviors

may pursue a vindictive vendetta against anyone who dares to held them accountable, perhaps using others' resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and organizations in pursuance of the vendetta

is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account

gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled to

is highly manipulative, especially of people's perceptions and emotions (e.g. guilt)

poisons peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions

when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression

is arrogant, haughty, high-handed, and a know-all
often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behavior and treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others

is spiritually dead although may loudly profess some religious belief or affiliation

is mean-spirited, officious, and often unbelievably petty

is mean, stingy, and financially untrustworthy

is greedy, selfish, a parasite and an emotional vampire

is always a taker and never a giver

is convinced of their superiority and has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation, trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness)

often fraudulently claims qualifications, experience, titles, entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or bogus

often misses the semantic meaning of language, misinterprets what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a satirical, ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself

knows the words but not the song

is constantly imposing on others a false reality made up of distortion and fabrication

sometimes displays a seemingly limitless demonic energy especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion of accountability and is often a committeeaholic or apparent workaholic

Responsibility
The serial bully appears to lack insight into his or her behavior and seems to be oblivious to the crassness and inappropriateness thereof; however, it is more likely that the bully knows what they are doing but elects to switch off the moral and ethical considerations by which normal people are bound. If the bully knows what they are doing, they are responsible for their behavior and thus liable for its consequences to other people. If the bully doesn't know what they are doing, they should be suspended from duty on the grounds of diminished responsibility and the provisions of the Mental Health Act should apply.
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm

Sure sounds like most of our political leaders...

Originally Posted by swtncgram

Can we identify any of these traits with any members of our government ?

The serial bully:

is a convincing, practiced liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment

has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act

excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive

uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)

is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance

is possessed of an exceptional verbal facility and will outmaneuver most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict

Is often described as smooth, slippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic

relies on mimicry, repetition and regurgitation to convince others that he or she is both a "normal" human being and a tough dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon

is unusually skilled in being able to anticipate what people want to hear and then saying it plausibly

cannot be trusted or relied upon

fails to fulfill commitments

is emotionally retarded with an arrested level of emotional development; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old

is emotionally immature and emotionally untrustworthy

exhibits unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behavior and bodily functions; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse

in a relationship, is incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy

holds deep prejudices (eg against the opposite gender, people of a different sexual orientation, other cultures and religious beliefs, foreigners, etc - prejudiced people are unvaryingly unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial aspect of their personality secret

is self-opinionated and displays arrogance, audacity, a superior sense of entitlement and sense of invulnerability and untouchability

has a deep-seated contempt of clients in contrast to his or her professed compassion

is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity

displays a compulsive need to criticize whilst simultaneously refusing to value, praise and acknowledge others, their achievements, or their existence

shows a lack of joined-up thinking with conversation that doesn't flow and arguments that don't hold water

flits from topic to topic so that you come away feeling you've never had a proper conversation

refuses to be specific and never gives a straight answer

is evasive and has a Houdini-like ability to escape accountability

undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask

Is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise collate incriminating information about them

is quick to discredit and neutralize anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopath behaviors

may pursue a vindictive vendetta against anyone who dares to held them accountable, perhaps using others' resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and organizations in pursuance of the vendetta

is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account

gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled to

is highly manipulative, especially of people's perceptions and emotions (e.g. guilt)

poisons peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions

when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression

is arrogant, haughty, high-handed, and a know-all
often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behavior and treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others

is spiritually dead although may loudly profess some religious belief or affiliation

is mean-spirited, officious, and often unbelievably petty

is mean, stingy, and financially untrustworthy

is greedy, selfish, a parasite and an emotional vampire

is always a taker and never a giver

is convinced of their superiority and has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation, trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness)

often fraudulently claims qualifications, experience, titles, entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or bogus

often misses the semantic meaning of language, misinterprets what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a satirical, ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself

knows the words but not the song

is constantly imposing on others a false reality made up of distortion and fabrication

sometimes displays a seemingly limitless demonic energy especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion of accountability and is often a committeeaholic or apparent workaholic

Responsibility
The serial bully appears to lack insight into his or her behavior and seems to be oblivious to the crassness and inappropriateness thereof; however, it is more likely that the bully knows what they are doing but elects to switch off the moral and ethical considerations by which normal people are bound. If the bully knows what they are doing, they are responsible for their behavior and thus liable for its consequences to other people. If the bully doesn't know what they are doing, they should be suspended from duty on the grounds of diminished responsibility and the provisions of the Mental Health Act should apply.
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm

Try the "post reply" button vice the quote button. No need to repeat an entire article.

Their are ways to quote part of an article without displaying the entire thing.

Saves bandwidth costs and allows pages to load faster and, by not displaying an entire article in your post it makes your reply/comment stand out better.

obbop
forgive my ignorance here I am trying to learn, could you please tell me how to do the quote thing? I clicked on quote posted my message and all I got was just the word quote, not in a box like everyone else! I know your hands are full and it is not your job to tell me how to use the computer, if you could just help me with this one thing, or anyone else on here who has the time, it would be appreciated!

is a convincing, practiced liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment

Sounds like Dane, Coop, KJC1, Howlin, sinkspur, Zook, Jim, etc. at FR.