going to mexico

Dear president Bush,

I am planing a little trip with my family and my husbands family members, my extended family also is coming. we would like your assistants to help us cross the boader from the USA into mexico. We plan to skip all the legal stuff, and the laws that we have to uphold when coming into a nother country.
would you mind telling your buddy president Fox, that we will be coming, and that we expect the following from his country.
Free medical care for all my family
english speaking government bureaucrates for all the services we are entiled to, and that we DEMAND. Remember they have to favor us because we are AMERICANS.
All government forms that have to be in english
I wqant my kids to be taught by english speaking teachers
Schools need to favor my kids and include classes on AMERICAN culture and history
I want my kids to see the AMERICAN flag at the schools, flying above the mexican flag
Please plan on feeding my children breakfast and lunch for free
I will need a local mexican drivers license so that I can get easy access to government services
I do not plan haveing insurance and I will not make any effort to get some, or even learn the local laws of mexico
be sure president fox tells all police officers that, they have to leave me alone and not target me, and they have to speak english to me
I plan on flying the USA flag above my house, celebrate the fourth of July I do not want negative complaints from the locals
I would also like to have a nice paying job, without paying any taxes and dont force any labor laws or tax laws on me
Please tell all people in the country to be nice to me and never say a critical word against me and my family, or about the strain I might place on the economy of mexico
Tell them not to call me white or I will consider that a racial statement

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come into the USA from mexico ILLEGALLY. I am sure that president Fox, wont mind returing the favor, if you ask him nicely. Also remember to stand up for me because you are standing up for the millions of ILLEGALS that are coming into our COUNTRY everyday.

Thank you so much for all you help,

sincerly,