Perhaps I am getting to old for the fight, have suffered one to many defeats and despairs at a government that seems to betray us as the Middle Class at every step of the way, but I find myself this evening in a dark and dismal place, a place where America seems no longer to be mine, no longer the country of the Great American Dream.

As a young man, I grew up in the hay days of affirmative action...that was a tough one, but I understood it. It's hard when you are barely 20 and being told that certain good paying jobs are not available to you, that the federal government has dictated such and such a company needs to hire minorities to fulfill their quota's...it was rough, but I understood it, believed it was for the best and made do the best I could. I had in my own small way stood up for civil rights, believe in equal rights for all, and felt this was the price I had to pay for living in America, the GREATEST country in the world.

When I made just enough money NOT to qualify for assistance with college tuition, I took it in stride, and kept moving on. I would be in my mid forties before I ever earned a college degree, but that was a price I had gladly payed, did not regret my choice in playing by the rules even if at times they seemed stacked against me, stacked in a way where it was never quite MY TURN.

I lost friends and relatives in the Vietnam War, supported the protestors in their call to bring our troops back home...I did this, because I believed then, and believe now that our politicians had tied one hand behind the backs of these fine young men and women, not really letting them go all out to win the war, and secure the peace. That same feeling exists deep within my heart today as I watch the daily news on Iraq and wonder why Bush is allowed to continue sitting in the oval office.

In the past two years, there has been one scandal after another breaking in the news and then being just as quickly swept under the carpet as Republicans close ranks and stop any attempts at meaningful investigations that would show us as citizens the ugly truth. Yet, I still tried to believe, thought it would all work out in the end.

Until the late 90's I lived on 40 acres in the woods of South Eastern Ohio, so was somewhat insulated from the problems eating away at the very fabric of America. Today, living in New York I cannot run away, I face the ugliness of the decay each and every day. Today, I feel as if something has shift, or pehaps broken would be a better word. I am numb, angry and full of despair, and even worse feeling a deep seeded HATRED trying to hurdle it's way to the surface as it fights to see the light of day.

I got a press release in this morning's email...seems the Nuclear Regulatory Agency (that has been lying to us all along) has just admitted that high levels of Radioactive Materials are now in ground water near our beloved Hudson River...the levels are THREE TIMES those allowed by National Standards for safe drinking water. I took it in stride and continued on with my day. This afternoon I read some news articles on Frist and his two faced lies on immigration and felt further betrayed by a government that no longer seems interested in a country run for and by the people as politicians sell out to special interests, and whatever cause they think improves their odds of getting re-elected.

The last straw was Hilliary tossing her full weight behind granting some 15-20 million illegal aliens Amnesty and American citizenship...tell me, is this why over 2300 of our soldiers died in the desert sands of Iraq? Were over 16,000 of our nations finest maime for life so that America's middle class could be destroyed in the name of Mexico and Presidenti Fox?

I may be wrong, but think if this legislation passes, think if Amnesty is created, and the president gets his wish of a guest worker plan that we are on the verge of our own civil war, on the verge of once again seeing rioting in the streets as the middle class erupts...if it happens, I will be there standing up for what little my government has not stolen away from me as they rob us until we are dead and in the grave.

America is no longer mine, the government no longer deserving of my patriotism, or my allegence to it's flag...they have abandoned me, and millions like me in the Middle Class and it is time now to draw that proverbial line in the sand and prepare to stand and fight for what America is supposed to be, instead of what it has become.