Thread: We're Surrounded in California! I Feel It's Lost To Illegals

http://www.city-data.com/forum/idaho/42 ... humor.html

Hilarious California Humor, all true.

From SAGE at city-data, Idaho vs. California
(I hope this is not too long to post. - Katatinka)
Here's my contribution....collected from various posts around about North Idaho life....
But it may give some people an idea of how you get along here...
And yes...it's tongue-in-cheek...so if you don't like it...RELAX...
1. That farm boy you just downed does more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym. Don't treat him like a country bumpkin. It's just insulting. And next time you need your roof shoveled to avoid collapsing, I bet he'll smile as he charges you $90/hour. And guess what? You'll gladly pay it.

2. It's called a "dirt road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dirt on your Escalade with your 20" chrome rims. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. The thick stuff in Spring -- it's called mud. If you like the color, don't wash your car for a couple weeks -- it'll be permanent. Just remember, if it's up to your axles, you have a problem. You may not want to wear Prada shoes driving around.

4. A lot of us started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it. YOU don't have to hunt to live here, but don't move here and start talking about bans on guns.

5. Tell your kid to pull his pants up. He looks like an idiot. What are you, lost?

6. If your cell phone rings while you're at a restaurant, don't be surprised when you get disapproving looks. There's this cool feature. It's called VIBRATE. Oh, and please don't chatter at the top of your lungs.

7. So, you have a fancy car. We're real impressed. We, on the other hand, will retire early because we discovered this neat little trick called "saving money" by driving our cars until well after they're paid off. Try it some time.

8. Let's get this straight. If I'm in front of you, I get to go slow, and you get to wait. Coming unglued will just mean next time you're stuck in a snowdrift, I keep on driving past you. And rudely passing a tractor is social death in this neighborhood...keep that in mind.

9. We eat dinner together with our families because we WANT to. Most folks go to church on Sundays and we go to high school football games on Friday nights. We still address our seniors with "sir" and "ma'am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors. Feels weird at first...but you'll get used to it.

10. We don't do "hurry up" well. You're in a hurry, why don't you jump on a plane to LA to get your adrenaline fix.

11. Yeah, we eat a lot of potatoes. And yes, there's a difference between our potatoes and what you bought at some steakhouse 1500 miles from here. Ever have "fresh Alaska salmon" in Mexico? Yeah...you get the picture.

12. Yes, they are livestock. That's what they smell like (money). Get it? Livestock -- income -- money? Get over it. Don't like the smell? Interstate 15 goes two ways. Interstate 90 goes the other two. Pick one.

13. So every person in every car around here waves to their neighbors? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

14. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot...his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.

15. We have lots of trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood. In the windstorms they even fall on cars...park appropriately.

16. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them -- enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner.

17 You may be Houdini on a skateboard. But pull in front of my pickup towing my horses and they'll be writing a sad letter home to your mama. Learn to skate on the sidewalk, junior. Oh wait, there's no sidewalks. Stay out of the street and you may live.

18. OK. This one should be simple. It's called a "co-op". That means we all buy in bulk and save money, and the co-op store helps support that mission. Unhappy with grandpa who's trying to help you over in the feed aisle because he's not faster helping you lift a 150lb sack of feed into your Lexus SUV? Probably the wrong store for you. Fact is, probably the wrong state for you.

19. Yes, we shoot guns on Sundays, after we're done at church. Don't like guns? Think only the cops should get to own guns? Sure, you can vote your mind, just over that little line into what we call "Washington State" in that crime infested hole called "Spokane".

20. You start hollering at your kid from the sidelines in a sporting match, you better watch your mouth. See, we teach our kids to play tough but to play fair. You start getting all "WWF" on the sidelines is just going to result in your getting beat down by my grandpa, who can still kick your ass.

21. Yes, we have Mexican food at the grocery store. It's in the international section, which is less than half the length of the beef jerky section.

22. Agape at the motorcycles running around with helmetless riders? Wake up and smell Darwinism at work. Stupid people remove themselves from the gene pool, why should we get in their way?

23. You want to complain about the bugs in your state? We're not impressed. We have moths the size of bats (seriously), spiders that weave webs in treetops to catch birds (seriously), and carpenter ants so tough it takes a hardcover book to squash them. No, we don't have cockroach problems though...Florida gets those, and they can keep them.

24. OK, for those of you with your fingers primed to dial 9-1-1 every time you see a fire, you're going to be one busy (and unpopular) person here. Burn piles are going all the time during the wet season, and nobody is burning down the forest. Just learn how we do it, and get a permit in the dry season.

25. Like having your power on 24/7? Buy a generator. $5000 buys a decent 10Kw backup. Better yet, buy some candles and camp stoves, and keep wood ready for your wood stove.

26. Want plowed roads in the winter in a rural area? Better buy a plow 'cause you'll be paying for one 5 times over if you have to keep calling a service. And if you plow, look out for your elderly neighbors...it's what we do here.

27. Want to have "the government" pave your roads? You just made "most unpopular" in the area, since you are trying to raise MY taxes because your lowered Lexus doesn't like dirt roads.

28. Looking for somewhere "open minded" (aka liberal) to live? Try Washington...I hear it's full of them. We have some liberals here...they get to feel intellectually superior, and we try to humor them while we mock them later. They're a very noisy 10%. In fact, you have two main factions in Idaho. Red State in the south, and Libertarians in the north.

And last....No, we don't care how much better you did things in California or New York City. If it was so great there, why not stay there? If it's better here, then shut up already.

Believe this! I don't care where your from or where you're going, It's coming to every town,and every holler in America. If you're here illegally, I don't care where your from, I do care where you're going HOME! Sy Anarra, adios', see ya later, have a nice day. We can't afford you no more, sorry my illegal brothers and sisters. American freedom isn't really free, it costs a lot for freedom, taxes,insurance,death. If nothing else we're jealous, because the illegals are the only ones truly free."AS FREE AS THE WIND BLOWS'',"AS FREE AS THE POT GROWS, FREE TO TAKE ALL YOUR JOBS"

Originally Posted by stevetheroofer

Believe this! I don't care where your from or where you're going, It's coming to every town,and every holler in America. If you're here illegally, I don't care where your from, I do care where you're going HOME! Sy Anarra, adios', see ya later, have a nice day. We can't afford you no more, sorry my illegal brothers and sisters. American freedom isn't really free, it costs a lot for freedom, taxes,insurance,death. If nothing else we're jealous, because the illegals are the only ones truly free."AS FREE AS THE WIND BLOWS'',"AS FREE AS THE POT GROWS, FREE TO TAKE ALL YOUR JOBS"

Hasta La Vista..... BABY

To Katatinka....

The post from SAGE @city-data is PRICELESS !

Thank you for posting it, and it is reality. Idaho and California are as different as night and day. You don't mess with people from Montana or NCW either. I think NCW is the only anti-gun control holdout region left in this liberal state of Washington.

Def

Originally Posted by katatinka

http://www.city-data.com/forum/idaho/42293-california-humor.html

Hilarious California Humor, all true.

What's your username at CitY Data?

Redneck Women
http://s163.photobucket.com/albums/t313 ... kWomen.flv





A$$holes of the world

http://s163.photobucket.com/albums/t313 ... EWORLD.mp4

The emasculation of the America male has been the pet project of the left and the right for along time now. The fastest way to achieve this goal is to take our jobs the jobs we picked because no one else wants to do them.(job security to us) a threat to them. It's probably hard to feel masculine when you're hands are all pink and soft like a models hands. If you're not really a man you hate all men.

Originally Posted by mkfarnam

Originally Posted by katatinka

I want to be a redneck. I've got a right.

If your from the south, your a redneck.
Move to Oklahoma like I did.
Since OK's immigration law(HR 1804) went into effect,(2007)
SW Okla, is just the opposite of SoCal. You only find Americans working the jobs here, that goes for= Landscaping, construction, fast food joints, Walmart, Haliburton, ect.
I'm not saying that there are not illegals in SW Okla.,but their never seen in public and those that are here are in the shadows working odd jobs for private individuals.

That's so ironic mkfarnam! I remember back in the day I posted that Americans are the majority in various fields that some think only illegals do. I posted my sources with the exact fields and percentages. Even then you appeared apprehensive to accept the information because of what you had seen in SoCal. I explained that it was a national study, and the nation as a whole does not look like California. It was right before you moved to Oklahoma IIRC.......so now you can see what I was talking about playing out before you Its really great to hear that Americans are doing all of those jobs, and the illegals are few and far between